Mean Scene

Now that I appear to be restored to full health, I feel fit enough to head out to an Internet place. I'll probably not head out till Wednesday, as I've a load of admin stuff to catch up on first.

Anyways, one place I will NOT be going to is Bean Scene, which I will now officially christen Mean Scene.

When it first launched I never went because it was non-smoking, but that makes no odds now, as the whole of Scotland has since become a non-smoking, fascist state.

It was due to the tyranny of nanny state fascism that I left Scotland, back in 2006, for the laissez-faire freedom of Spain (where you can blow cigarette smoke in babies' faces to your heart's content). But - as you know (or have surmised) - I have ended up back in my homeland (kinda by mistake). Back in my homeland, but without the luxury of a home.

Between living in the van and various temporary flats, I haven't been able to avail myself of broadband and have had to make do with Hillhead Library's highly erratic wifi service or use the various cafes and pubs that offer free wi-fi.

Well... not entirely free, you kinda have to buy a coffee or something, but most places indulge your passion for the online by letting you sit there for hours on end as you very very slowly sip your cooling cappuccino.

Not so, Bean Scene though. They charged you for using their wifi, and it wasn't cheap either, if I remember rightly. However, I guess wisdom eventually grabbed its owner by the bollocks (or the mammaries) and - way behind everyone else - Bean Scene finally started offering free wifi... or so I thought!!!

A few weeks ago, after finding Hillhead library's wifi down yet again, I wandered down to Bean Scene, bought a cuppuccino and a very mingy slice of millionaire's shortbread (a misnomer, if ever there was one, more like miser's shortbread, Mean Scene stylee). I handed over a five-pound note and got a few coppers for change, which seemed pretty fucking exorbitant to me. A coffee and something masquerading vaguely as cake for a fiver? But, I thought, what the fuck, at least I get to do my internet stuff. So, with my change I am given a ticket with a user name and password and on I go. After about fifteen minutes, gasping for a fag, I go outside with my super-expensive cappucino and roll myself a fag and smoke it in the pissing rain and wind (thanks, Jack McC, love you!). Then I go back in to get on with my internet stuff, and after what seems like no time the server just dies. So, I go up to the counter and ask what's what, only to be told I get only one hour free with each purchase. What? What the fuck?

I don't know who it is that owns Mean Scene, but if I ever get hold of their email address I'm gonna write them and tell them they've lost one customer forever. It's bad enough that they charge way over the odds for a cup of coffee, worse that they are so mean with their portions, but the use of duplicitous small print in offering a so-called "free" service takes the fucking biscuit.

So, Wednesday, if Hillhead library's wifi is down again (as it probably bloody is) I shall be patronising The Goat or The Firebird or even The Partick Taverne; and what's more, I'll probably buy a lunch as well as some coffee. I'll be glad to give my ill-gotten cash to these establishments because they don't piss you about like the mean minded fucker(s) that own(s) Bean Scene. God damn them to hell. I hope they lose all their clientele to less greedy enterprises.